August 2010
33 posts
i drank like 8 gallons of champagne last night
have yall ever woken up in the morning and felt really really hungover like “everything is right in this world”? that’s how i feel today. i feel like yesterday the world became a ‘better place’ or something. as though some sort of wrong had been ‘righted’. like when spiedi became ‘heidi’ and ‘spencer’ again. or like when hitler...
I'VE OFFICIALLY SOLD MORE RECORDS THAN HEIDI...
I’VE OFFICIALLY SOLD MORE RECORDS THAN HEIDI MONTAG!!!
HISTORY HAS JUST HAPPENED!!
I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS!!
Will write again tonight. For now I’m going to go pop open a bottle of champagne and toast to all of you.
LOVE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!
WE'RE TIED WITH HEIDI!
ONE TO GO UNTIL WE WIN!!!
BUY LOVE!
for all yall 'visual thinkers' out there
just in case yall don’t understand the ‘gravity’ of the current ‘sitch’, here is an update via graphical analysis/bar chart. THAT’S HOW F**KING CLOSE WE ARE TO WINNING THIS THING!
as the day played out it seems we’ve ended up at 643. or 15 shy of a tie and 16 shy of winning ‘this bitch’!!!
feel good. the end is nigh yall!
help a bro out. buy...
"twenty is plenty"! 20 to go...
sold another record. we’re almost in the ‘teens’. some sweet ladies made “twenty is plenty” signs for me/’the cause’ and are holding them out on the freeway for all passersby to see. going to send them free records for this. they are mad sweet yall.
21 to go!
feel like i’m going to ‘live blog’/’live tumble’ this thing until it’s over. only 21 records left to beat heidi. 20 puts me at 258 + 1 puts me at 259.
unreal!!
to celebrate, here’s a picture of some random girl’s 21st birthday cake that weirdly has an ‘oscar’ statue on it. i don’t get this cake at all. can’t wait to have my...
almost there...
just 25 records to go people. ONLY TWENTY FIVE!
i sort of can’t even believe this happening. there was a time when i didn’t think i would pull this off and i would die lonely, shamed, without friends, family would disown me, people would laugh at me on the streets, throw fruits and vegetables at me, i would resort to heavy drug usage to try and ‘numb’ the embarassment/cope...
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rockafellahooker asked: I just LOVE yr page! Words of encouragement: You WILL defeat Heidi Montag. Th plastic surgeries and th editted voice wont really take her anywhere
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public service announcement
ya’ll, don’t tweet while driving. it seems the plastic surgeon bro who made heidi look 47 years old died while he was tweeting!
his ex-girlfriend told people magazine that “he was [tweeting] while driving and he accidentally went over the cliff.” feel really sad about this.
turns out he was tweeting about his adorable puppy, a border collie named ‘jill’. seriously...
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homeless bro / current standings
when i first started this blog i felt like a homeless bro with a laptop. chillin with my dog, sending emails, gchatting to other homeless bros and ordering booze on the interwebs with money i made from redeeming cans and bottles i found in other peoples trash.
but yall have been so welcoming that now i sort of feel like this cute little terrierbro. feels like everyone wants to cuddle with...
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yall i'm better than "a choir of houseflies"!
askmen.com tweeted to ~18,324 humans that [i am/the zax are] ‘better than a choir of houseflies’ sort of. feel like this is the ‘best review i’ll ever get’, like i can never do better than this. do yall think i’ll ever be able to top this ‘review’ of the zax? did askmen.com convince yall to buy love with their ‘spot on’ twitter review?...
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where my 'fans' at yall?
was noticing yesterday that i gots like 1,208 ‘fans’ on purevolume, feels like selling 658 records should be a breeze, right? don’t ‘fans’ buy records of ‘artists’ they are ‘fans of’? feel real confused right now yall. feel like i’ve been abandoned, discarded like an unwanted baby in a basket and placed on the front steps of the...