did heidi actually ‘bare all’ for this? feels like a cheap marketing ploy to ‘move units’ (hey wait, do y’all think my website is like posing for playboy?). seriously doubt spencer pratt harry henderson would’ve let her show her ‘bits’ or something when they were ‘together’/’in love’.

reminds me of that episode of ‘fresh prince of bel-aire’ where hillary is going to pose for playboy but ‘uncle phil’ gets mad but then she poses for playboy anyway [because she feels repressed by her overbearing rich father who she still calls “daddy” even when she is obviously like 26 or something] but then she has them photoshop (did they have photoshop back then?) cute little clouds over her bits so ‘uncle phil’ won’t get mad.

feel like if you replaced ‘uncle phil’ with ‘spencer pratt’ and ‘hillary’ with ‘heidi montag’ it’d be like the same thing or something.

why is heidi covered in all that dirt, yall?
and why is her bathing suit still perfectly white?
do yall think they sprayed her bathing suit with teflon or something?
is she about to pull down her bathing suit bottom or just pretending?
would yall feel ‘lied to’/’cheated’ if she didn’t actually pull her bathing suit bottoms off right after this photo?
is spencer pratt really ‘uncle phil’?
was uncle phil secretly in love with his daughter hillary and didn’t want to ‘share her’ with the playboy reading masses?
how would kurt vonnegut feel about having his name right next to heidi montags navel?