HELP ME SELL MORE RECORDS THAN HEIDI MONTAG!

here’s some footage of me celebrating after beating heidi...

Tue, 31 Aug 2010 15:44:52 -0400

here’s some footage of me celebrating after beating heidi last week. hope yall enjoy! had such a good time chillin with my dog and all my bros.

stay tuned for my next adventure/challenge. it’s happening. soon.

i drank like 8 gallons of champagne last night

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 11:30:39 -0400

have yall ever woken up in the morning and felt ~~really really hungover~~ like “everything is right in this world”? that’s how i feel today. i feel like yesterday the world became a ‘better place’ or something. as though some sort of wrong had been ‘righted’. like when spiedi became ‘heidi’ and ‘spencer’ again. or like when hitler finally died. yeah, like that.

i want to thank everyone who bought my album LOVE so far for helping me reach my goal/beat heidis sale figure.

want to give a special shout out to amber from the netherlands. she bought the record that ‘tipped’ this thing, the coveted ‘659th record’ that broke the tie and put me over. feel like we are ‘soul mates’ or something now. bonded together for eternity in some way. i promised her i’d send her something special from NYC, she emailed me back and said she loved ‘olive garden’ when she visited NYC one time, feel like i want to send her ‘bottomless garlic breadsticks’.

anyway, i feel so happy right now. just gonna ‘live in the moment’, ‘soak all this up’, and ‘live the dream’ for a minute before i get ‘back on my grind’.

want to thank yall properly for all your support so far, so i scoured the interwebs last night (after ~5 gallons of champagne) for like 3 hours while crying ‘tears of joy’/’sobbing uncontrollably with happiness’ until i found the cheesiest/lamest video i could find to dedicate to yall. here it is:

was interviewed by freewilliamsburg.com re finally selling more...

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 10:03:00 -0400

was interviewed by freewilliamsburg.com re finally selling more records than heidi montag. they tagged the post ‘giggles’, ‘heidi montag’, ‘record sales’, and ‘the zax’.

particularly liked the ‘giggles’ tag.

I'VE OFFICIALLY SOLD MORE RECORDS THAN HEIDI MONTAG!!!

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:08:00 -0400

I’VE OFFICIALLY SOLD MORE RECORDS THAN HEIDI MONTAG!!!

HISTORY HAS JUST HAPPENED!!

I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Will write again tonight. For now I’m going to go pop open a bottle of champagne and toast to all of you.

LOVE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!

WE'RE TIED WITH HEIDI!

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:07:51 -0400

ONE TO GO UNTIL WE WIN!!!

BUY LOVE!

two to win. one to tie. who will it be? buy love!

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:05:57 -0400

two to win. one to tie.

who will it be? buy love!

3. THREE TO GO!! we’re at 656. 2 until we tie heidi. 3...

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:02:10 -0400

3. THREE TO GO!! we’re at 656. 2 until we tie heidi. 3 until it’s ‘over’.

BUY LOVE.

5 to go! buy love! ALMOST THERRREEEE!

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 11:55:17 -0400

5 to go!

buy love! ALMOST THERRREEEE!

6 to go. couldn’t find a good picture of a...

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 11:52:17 -0400

6 to go. couldn’t find a good picture of a ‘#6’ so i just took a photo of my sweet abs/’6 pack’. BUY LOVE!! Help me beat Heidi! Almost there!

7 to go!!! buy love yall!!

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 11:50:14 -0400

7 to go!!! buy love yall!!

8 to go yall!! buy love!

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 11:43:38 -0400

8 to go yall!!

buy love!

9 to go. buy LOVE.

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 11:31:44 -0400

9 to go. buy LOVE.

10 to go. ten… yall only 10 more people can ‘get in...

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 11:17:24 -0400

10 to go. ten…
yall only 10 more people can ‘get in on this’.
next 10 people to buy love are the final 10 people to have helped me beat my goal. you will all hold a special place in my heart.

do yall think this will happen today?
feel like i’m going to have an anxiety attack/start tweeting like courtney love.
have i run out of people in the world who could possibly like my music/hate heidi enough to actually buy my record??
feel mad scared it’s going to ‘stall out’ now and that i’ll never sell more records than heidi.
if i win, should i go to “disneyworld” like MJ did when he won like 40 nba championships?
if i ‘lose’ should i just ‘call it a day’/kill myself?

what do yall think i should do to try and sell these last records?
feel like i want to beg people on the streets to buy them for $1.

feeling good/scared.

buy love!

for all yall 'visual thinkers' out there

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 22:42:33 -0400

just in case yall don’t understand the ‘gravity’ of the current ‘sitch’, here is an update via graphical analysis/bar chart. THAT’S HOW F**KING CLOSE WE ARE TO WINNING THIS THING!

as the day played out it seems we’ve ended up at 643. or 15 shy of a tie and 16 shy of winning ‘this bitch’!!!

feel good. the end is nigh yall!

help a bro out. buy my album love. love me. love, me (rionbro).

"twenty is plenty"! 20 to go...

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 09:35:55 -0400

sold another record. we’re almost in the ‘teens’.

some sweet ladies made “twenty is plenty” signs for me/’the cause’ and are holding them out on the freeway for all passersby to see. going to send them free records for this. they are mad sweet yall.

21 to go!

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 08:09:00 -0400

feel like i’m going to ‘live blog’/’live tumble’ this thing until it’s over. only 21 records left to beat heidi. 20 puts me at 258 + 1 puts me at 259.

unreal!!

to celebrate, here’s a picture of some random girl’s 21st birthday cake that weirdly has an ‘oscar’ statue on it. i don’t get this cake at all. can’t wait to have my very own cake shaped in the number 659 though. will put an ‘emmy’ on it, or like a ‘golden globe’ or something.

buy love ya’ll!! let’s do this.

almost there...

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 22:02:55 -0400

just 25 records to go people. ONLY TWENTY FIVE!

i sort of can’t even believe this happening. there was a time when i didn’t think i would pull this off and i would die lonely, shamed, without friends, family would disown me, people would laugh at me on the streets, throw fruits and vegetables at me, i would resort to heavy drug usage to try and ‘numb’ the embarassment/cope with being ‘the suckiest person on the planet’…

but now i feel like sly stallone in that arm wrestling movie, ‘over the top’, where he beats (the writing is on the wall ya’ll) that giant guy who drank motor oil while all my bros are around cheering me on and unable to believe that i could ‘take down’ a bro who drinks motor oil.

feel like heidi the tatted screaming ogre in this picture, and there little me with my hat to the back bringing my ‘a-game’, and then there is that bro with the ‘toyota’ trucker hat on and he’s breathing on my hand and it’s distracting me/i want him to go away.

for all ya’ll who have been holding out, it’s time to get in on this. it’s time to buy love. i neeeeddd yoouuuu. i need this to end. buy love here.

ya know, just another email from my mom.

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 15:05:00 -0400

ya know, just another email from my mom.

LOL. this is too good yall: heidi’s new girl-on-girl...

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 11:10:01 -0400

LOL. this is too good yall: heidi’s new girl-on-girl sextape coincides with me publicly shaming her via ‘random bro sells more records than her’.

do ya’ll think she wrote one of those 13 songs she wrote in that one day about ‘karissa’?
would be sweet if they had a ‘duet’.
should i sample the sex tape on a ‘single’?
are yall gonna buy/watch this?
feel like i should have a ‘sex tape viewing party’/’record release party’ at the same time. would you come to that?

i tweeted the other day that i wanted ‘feel like this girl...

Fri, 20 Aug 2010 14:00:00 -0400

i tweeted the other day that i wanted ‘feel like this girl does’ — having fun, feeling joyous while running away from bubbles like they are going to ‘catch me’, wearing a sweet yellow jacket, and having the ‘time of my life’.

and i do, right now i do, i actually feel like this girl does in this picture.
everyone/thing is so great, i’ve nearly sold more records than heidi montag even. ‘the final countdown’ continues yall.

stay tuned for more. buy love and stuff.